Ayi, the Strong Girl from Vietnam

Young Ayi Learned Chinese

Ayi’s mother was Vietnamese. Ayi’s father left Hong Kong to run a textile factory in Vietnam. The two met, got married and had Ayi. The three lived in Vietnam for ten more years before they relocated to Hong Kong. In Hong Kong, a typical ten-year-old would be enrolled in primary 4, but because Ayi didn’t know any Chinese she was enrolled in primary 2. To catch up, Ayi took courses covering the very basic of Chinese language. A fast learner, and with the help of teachers and instructors, Ayi mastered the language within half a year and was able to communicate with the local students in fluent Cantonese. Many Mandarin-speaking immigrants paled in comparison.

Surprisingly, Ayi didn’t find learning Chinese too difficult, “A lightbulb went on in my head, I don’t really know how.” Nevertheless, leaving Vietnam for a new place entailed Ayi would face unforeseen challenges for someone her age.

Life Without Parents

Ayi’s father had anger issue and her mother suffered from hallucination. They argued and fought; young Ayi was left aside. Young Ayi witnessed her teary mother banging her head into a wall after her parents had an argument, and how her mother sliced her wrist after she got beaten up. Ayi could not erased these from her memories.

For five years the family of three lived in Hong Kong. After which the father returned to the textile business in Vietnam. Ayi’s mother, who had not been able to adjust to life in Hong Kong, left 15-year-old Ayi in the care of an old lady they knew well. From then on, Ayi and the old lady were left on their own, looking out for each other.

Ayi did not go into details. It was hard to tell if her parents’ departure meant much to her for it seemed their absence was a relief. Calm and independent, one couldn’t help but wonder if Ayi’s indifference was a result of accumulated hurt and disappointment.

Life at HCG

Ayi spent half a year with the old lady. During form 3, Ayi was brought to HCG at the Mongkok location. Like many others, Ayi came to HCG through a social worker. Upon arrival, Ayi was covered in tears. Ten full pages of HCG house rules: “Lights off at 10 pm”, time limit on making phone calls, taking turn to do chores, snack breaks, and so on. Ayi was used to her care-free life; HCG appeared to be like a prison. Yet, in a very short time Ayi’s adaptive nature got her used to the routine.

Ayi stayed with HCG for half a year. During this time, Ayi might have given up the freedom she valued the most but the experience meant so much more. Ayi was thankful of HCG’s professional counselling. She learned ways to cope with her pain and became a confident person. She also became good at counselling her friends. “It’s called passing it on,” she said. Ayi left HCG two years ago but she made the effort to stay in touch; one can often find her at HCG’s various gatherings. Compared to other safe houses that were government-sponsored, HCG held a special place in the hearts of the girls. “We don’t called HCG a “shelter”; HCG is our home because that’s what it is.”

“I am going to be a flight attendant.”

Currently Ayi is preparing for the public exams but she has her heart set on a goal. Ayi admits her grades probably aren’t good enough for her to go to college but believes she is qualified to be a flight attendant. She is confident that her fluency in Vietnamese will help her get the job, “I am going to be a flight attendant, no matter what.” Ayi’s determination is rooted in her wish to be united with her family. “When I fly to Vietnam, I can visit my mother.”

Ayi is staying at a different government-sponsored shelter. Her parents divorced not long ago, and Ayi’s two younger sisters, age nine and six, are living with their unemployed mother. The girls do not have the chance to go to school. As for her irresponsible father, Ayi doesn’t hold any expectation. She wants to start making money as soon as she can to help raise her siblings.

At twenty, Ayi decided to take care of her family and fulfill what her parents failed to do. This isn’t right, one might protest. For some, the choices are few. Between walking away and embracing her family with all its imperfection, Ayi chose the latter. We wholeheartedly pray that Ayi will soon reunite with her family.